Jonas Brothers---Again!

So many of you may remember that Stella met Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers one year ago in Washington DC when our awesome friend Melissa hooked us up with an exclusive meet and greet! We kept telling Stella at that time, "this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and will NEVER happen again," and to "enjoy the moment"...well, we were WRONG and in a major way!!! Last week I got an e-mail from the Jonas Brothers fanclub (Stella is a member) saying Stella had won a meet and greet contest preceding their VB concert! I was shocked and couldn't believe that girl's luck! I was also a little worried since the e-mail said it was only Stella that had won entry into the meet and greet. I wondered how Ashlyn would feel.

We got to the concert yesterday afternoon and after some sweet talking were able to secure THREE official meet and greet passes. Ashlyn, Stella, and me (well, duh) were going to meet the Jonas Brothers!!! We were soooo excited. It worked out that Jay was able to hang out with us the entire time we were waiting in line and he even got to go into the meet and greet but wasn't able to approach the band (ha! the power of the meet and greet sticker, I suppose!!!!).

Some reflections in the meet and greet:

It was short....

Stella was wearing a t-shirt with a picture of her and Nick from the previous summer. Nick and Kevin both commented on the shirt.

Stella "autographed" the picture of her and Nick and gave it to him! It was hysterical.

Ashlyn was completely and was totally star-struck...She kept giggling and couldn't speak! It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!

All of those boys are extremely gracious!

Overall the experience was AMAZING. Stella and Ashlyn are such sweet little girls and we were so happy that they were able to meet their favorite band and have this "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity!" ha!! Here are some pics! Have a great week!!!!

Mexico 2010 Part 2

I went to bed on Sunday night excited and ready to get to work on the house. Monday morning we had chapel and breakfast @ the camp. Then we split into our teams to head out to our building site. I was excited that both of the Real Life teams would be building right across the street from each other, but I was also nervous. We had a lot of people on our team that had zero construction experience including myself and I really couldn't picture inside my head how we would complete an entire house (albeit a small one) in four days.

We made it to the job site. The concrete had been poured...an empty slate...We all got out of the van. The drive to the site had been sobering to say the least. I've heard people say that we in America don't know what true poverty really is and now I can see why people say that. Stray dogs roamed the streets, children too....little kids who may or may not have had an older child looking after them. Fences were pieced together with cardboard, leftover bits of boards, old wooden pallets, and wire. Outhouses sat behind houses that were slapped together with a hope and a prayer. And in we came....A line of trucks, and white cargo vans. Despite our intimidating presence everyone waved to us. Several houses in the neighborhood had been built by EOC crews in years past so I'm sure these people knew why the gringos had arrived.

As soon as we were out of the van the work began. I was shocked at the way our small group came together in that moment and formed a true team. We had split up into a framing crew, painting crew, and cutting crew the night before. So me and the other paint crew members immediately began painting the exterior house panels. Larry and Trae King turned on the generator started cutting all the boards...The kids from the neighborhood came over to check out what was going on. Many kids grabbed paintbrushes and started helping. We met Lydia and Kenya that morning (the mother and daughter we were building the house for). Kenya was a quiet girl with a sweet smile. I noticed Lydia quietly observing us and after a few minutes she grabbed a paintbrush herself and started to help. That morning we met not only Kenya and Lydia, but some of the other neighborhood kids: Antonio, his brother 'Berto, their older sister, and her ten week old baby, Carlitos, and several other kids who wondered back and forth between the two job sites.

'Berto in particular, touched my heart. He told me he was 12 and he seemed to understand everything we said to him even though he didn't speak English. Me and Katelyn ended up using him as a translator to the other kids that morning. He worked and he worked hard. He painted, lifted, carried, and translated the entire day! We found out from him that he lived in the house behind the one we were building and that his house had been built by EOC a couple of years before. So he understood the significance of what we were there doing.

The next couple of days were a blur of working, sleeping, eating, playing, worshipping and falling in love with the families we were building the houses for. I had some humbling moments for certain and I conquered many of my fears. The biggest of which is (well, was) my fear of heights....Jim, our crew foreman came over and told me and Katelyn he needed a couple people on the roof to secure the plywood. I panicked, but I didn't come on this trip to say no so I told Jim I would get up there. Larry held the ladder as Katelyn climbed up and got on the roof before me...And now, my moment of truth. I asked Larry if he thought I could do it and he swore to me I would be fine and that he would hold the ladder for me. I took the first step of the ladder very cautiously and took a gigantic breath and just climbed...I got to the top and looked up @ Jim who was on the roof. I had successfully climbed that dang ladder, but now I had to hoist myself onto the roof and I was scared....like, almost hyperventilating scared. I don't even remember what in the world Jim said to me in that moment, but I do remember feeling completely comforted by his kind words of encouragement and I took a deep breath and I did it!! I made it on top of the roof! I wasn't quite ready to stand up and say, "I'm king of the world," but I was up there even if I was clinging to those pieces of plywood for dear life.

Katelyn and I worked that afternoon on the roof. There was a moment when I took a break from my hammering and I just took it all in. The neighborhood, my team mates, the mountains in the background, and I started to weep for the beauty of it all...I was sitting on a roof of a house that didn't even exist two days before. And I was in God's presence up there. I felt Him like I have never felt Him before. I couldn't believe that a year and a half ago I was dealing with cancer..the lowest of the lows.... and now 18 months later I was at the peak of my life both literally and figuratively. What an amazing feeling to be in God's grace and to feel it, know it and appreciate it....I am a blessed girl...

Mexico 2010 Part 1

most of the Real Life gang

the border....

Angel....

Lynette Blincoe, Steven Weikel playing with Angel

Ensenada Outreach Center....

So a lot of my family and friends are expecting me to blog about my trip to Mexico, but I'm having a difficult time finding a good starting place.



The entire trip was magical, amazing, inspiring, heartbreaking, exhausting, uplifting, joyous, sad, miraculous, quiet, small, loud, enormous, beautiful, haunting, achingly humbling, bitter, and sweet...basically indescribable.



The facts are this:



1. I went to Ensenada, Mexico with a group of kids and adults from Real Life Christian Church.

2. We split up into two teams and in four days we built two houses.

3. I laughed a lot.

4. I cried a lot...ok a WHOLE lot.

5. I fell in love.

6. I had my heart broken....repeatedly.

7. I put a roof on my house.

8. I hit my thumb unbelievably hard with a hammer.

9. I literally left my blood on the rooftop of that home.

10. I had an intense moment with God on said roof.

11. I made many new friends, some lifelong.

12. I left a bigger piece of me then I would care to admit in Mexico.

13. Trae King is cool.

14. Katelyn Maurice and I would make mad mischief if I weren't a responsible wife and mother.



So one week ago ago I, along with others from Real Life Christian Church, boarded a plane heading for San Diego . Everyone was quietly excited and anxious as we boarded the plane. I was feeling a bit out of my element and frankly, old. I was traveling with a bunch of teens and I honestly began to wonder what my place on this trip would be. I was nervous and wondered if I would even have anything to say to these kids for an entire week. We made it to San Diego after a long day of traveling where Doug Forehand (our lead minister), and two other guys from our church Bucky Osborne, and Jim Green were there with large white vans. We piled all of our luggage and ourselves in and headed for our hotel. The next day we met up with others from Virginia churches and headed in a long caravan of white vans to cross the border into Mexico.

I had been told that crossing into Mexico was a fairly painless process and coming back out was a little more complicated. We approached the border and I got a bit nervous. There were armed men standing @ the border gate just hanging out in case anything troublesome were to occur. And when I say armed, I mean really large machine gun style weapons...Slightly intimidating (only slightly). Doug and Bucky were in one van, Jim Green and Nona Kim were in another. Our group from Real Life had been split into two vans and there were a couple more vans filled with the other people from different churches. We were ready to roll and start this trip.....

And for the first time in the eight years our church has been doing this trip (I know, right???) all of our vans were asked to pull over rather than driving straight through the border and into the country! I probably would not have been nervous except for the fact that my friend Sherry who has been on this trip almost every year made a comment about this being unusual. Up ahead I saw Doug talking to a border guard and I quietly snapped his picture. I was seriously afraid it might be the last time I ever saw him! A border guard approached our van and asked to look inside and our van driver, Larry King completely freaked me out by getting out of the van himself and opening the door for the guard. Inside I was screaming to myself, "Larry..Get BACK in the van." The whole process was extremely intimidating. Fortunately we were cleared to go forward and we all crossed the border in Mexico safely and relatively drama--free.

We continued on to Ensenada, Mexico which was approx. one and a half hours south of the border. We passed Tijuana on our left which was a bit creepy. It's surrounded by this wall and just looked run down and scary. The further down the coast we drove the more scenic it became. We were hugging the Pacific Ocean for most of the drive and it really was quite lovely. Every now and then you'd get a reminder that you weren't in America--the armed guards @ all the toll booths, the little girl, obviously homeless, sitting on the side of the road. We were, for the most part quiet, as we all took in the scenery. We made it into Ensenada, Mexico at about 5:30 that afternoon. I was tired and hungry, but excited to have reached our destination safely and ready to start work.

We unloaded all of our bags @ our base camp, Ensenada Outreach Center. Our rooms were actually really nice. Typical dorm style with bunk beds and shared bathrooms, but clean and very welcoming. There were 140 of us @ the camp for the week and the energy was exciting. We headed in for a quick meeting welcoming us to EOC and then had our first dinner together. The families we were building houses for had been brought to the camp for introductions. My team found out that evening that Lydia and her daughter Kenya, whom my team was building a house for were not there. I was disappointed that I wasn't going to meet Lydia that night, but learned she would be on the job site the next day. We did meet the other family that the other Real Life team was building a house for and their adorable boys, Angel and Enrique. I was very nervous about approaching the family @ dinner. My Spanish speaking skills consist basically of what I have learned on Dora The Explorer. I was nervous about how I would communicate with these people....How I would get across the message that I was excited and thrilled to be given this opportunity? I decided t play it safe and approach the kids, who by this time, had gotten up and started mingling around camp, playing, ping pong, and foozball. I approached Angel who was 8 and said "Hola." He responded "Hola" This was going good I thought to myself. I had brought pictures of my kids in my wallet...mostly in case I missed them and needed to see their faces, but in that moment, I decided to pull out the pictures of Stella, Ashlyn, and Quinn and show them to Angel. I pointed to Stella's picture and told Angel her name and he asked how old. I told him 8 (I knew my Spanish numbers up to 10), next Ashlyn's picture, and finally Quinn's. He took the pile of pictures from my hand and flipped through them over and over. He smiled and pointed and repeated their names after me. It was very sweet. I was able to communicate to Angel that these were pictures of my kids. It was a nice quiet moment and I felt for the first time that maybe I did belong there in Ensenada and that things were going to be fine...maybe even better than fine....

Just One Of Those Days

Most of you know last January I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and almost one year ago had my thyroid removed---to remove the cancer and to prevent recurrence. I was told, by doctors, family, friends, (and the most annoying) friends of family and friends, that this was the Cadillac of cancers to have...the easiest to "cure," the least likely to RE-occur...If you HAVE to have cancer-this is the BEST cancer to get! And to top off getting the "Cadillac of cancers" I had the BEST form of the BEST kind of cancer, Papillary Thyroid cancer!!! I hit the cancer lottery ya'll...The most treatable form of the most treatable kind of cancer there is!!!!! Seriously, could it get ANY better than THIS?????...

I still had freaking cancer.....

And even though I was most likely to come out of this experience ok; I had to deal with the psychological repercussions of having the "big C." I was a part of a new club that I never wanted to join; and even though my cancer is GONE....the memory of having it is not...

For the most part in the past year, I have refrained from self pity. And honestly, I have had very few moments where I've let my diagnosis, treatment, and recovery get me down. I've held up amazingly well and more often than not, looked at the proverbial glass as being half full (which as many of you know; is oddly not in my cynical nature..hahaha)....So for now, permit me a moment to be human: A human with faults, fears, dislikes, confusion, and yes: a day when I feel sorry for myself.

A day when I feel sick and worry if I'm feeling sick because my MEDS are wrong.

A day that I freak out and cry because I need to take FIVE PILLS every day to keep me ALIVE.

A day when the guilt of having these negative feelings weighs on me to the point of BREAKING.

A day when I can't even think about the SUFFERING of others cause it's all I can do to get through my own........

ever had one of those?

And so I write....not to have someone feel sorry for me, or to worry about me, or to call me because they haven't in a while, or to hug me because they think that's what I need....

I write because it makes ME feel better.

I write because sometimes I'll type something quite witty and I'll picture one of my friends laughing.

I write because it's what I do when I am happy, or sad, or confused, or questioning...

I get nervous when I can't write because it usually means I am nothing: feeling nothing, doing nothing, being nothing....and that doesn't sit well with me....because even though I've had a crappy day; I at least had A day.....right? and for today, that's the best I've got to give. I might have more tomorrow.....

The Bible Reading Continues....

This is what's going on with me ya'll....NOTHING...seriously...All I do is teach the kids, read the Bible (how holy sounding), and complain about reading the Bible (how UNholy sounding)....I REALLY don't know if I can make it through the next two months of this! I need encouragement...Jason and I are holding on by the skin of our teeth. One day he's enthusiastic about the readings, the next day; not. Luckily our ebb and flow have worked out in each others' favor. He encourages me when I need it, and I encourage him when he is over it...Nice little teamwork thing we have going on, no?

The question, however, that keeps plaguing me is...Why am I doing this? Is it solely for the purpose of being able to say I've read the entire Bible? AND if that is the reason...well, who cares? Really...who cares if I've read the entire Bible???? Do I even care? Reading certainly doesn't guarantee clarity. In fact, I've never been more confused in my life. I find myself furiously reading and praying for a moment of understanding, a line, phrase, passage, that speaks to me...that brings everything into focus...(maybe I just need a prescription for new glasses...that Bible print really is quite tiny)...All jokes aside; this is truly stressing me out...Why am I doing this? Why am I not content to go to church on Sunday and learn what I need to learn there? Is it the know-it-all in me? The fierce competitor? And are those admirable reasons for agreeing to do this? Hardly.

Here's the thing that bothers me the most. If I want to finish this book in 90 days, I don't have the time to ponder over the reason I am doing it...I just have to keep reading. Maybe the understanding of purpose will come when I'm finished. But what if it doesn't? What if I read the entire Bible in 90 days and am completely UN-changed. Sure, I may be able to answer the Bible trivia questions on Jeopardy, but what if I'm spiritually unchanged....scary thought...You hear about people reading the Bible all the time and claiming they are "changed" because of it( I mean, come on, look @ Stephen Baldwin)...what if I'm the ONE person who quite literally reads the ENTIRE bible and gets nothing out of it...walks away the exact same person I was on New Years Eve 2009; the night before I took on this challenge? At least if I quit I will have the excuse of not evolving in a spiritual sense. Say I finish though, and all I can say is "Wow, I read the whole Bible." Will I be satisfied with that? Would God? Quitting may be my only way out of such spiritual embarrassment......

But something keeps me going...Day 35 and I'm still in it...What I'm getting out it..not quite sure....yet.

Catching Up...

As usual, things have been very busy for the family. I had hoped to update my blog more frequently while doing the B90X reading program, but to be quite honest; it's taken a lot of energy just to stay caught up with the readings. I am thrilled to say, though, that I have completed the Pentateuch (that's the first five books of the Bible, ya'll...However, I can take no credit for knowing that word....my pastor threw out that term and I had to google it)...I've also finished Joshua and am starting on Judges....Right now, I feel like I'm treading water with my daily readings..tough stuff for sure, but I'll keep you posted on my progress.

As is the norm for us, the Doak family has been doing lots of celebrating. In the past two weekends we have been to three birthday parties!!! My niece Adyson turned two, my mother-in-law did NOT turn two (haha), and the girls' friend Parker turned six. Lots of birthday cakes, presents, and celebrating!

Church has been keeping us all very busy and we continue to get more involved on a weekly basis! I am really excited about my new involvement with our youth program. AND I just signed up and paid the deposit to go on a mission trip to Mexico this summer! It is something that I have been very passionate about for quite some time. We (me as an individual and the church) are doing a number of things to fund raise for the trip, so I will keep you posted on ways you can help me out if you're interested! I'm scared, but thrilled with the opportunity God has given me. So check back soon as I post more info about my trip!

Homeschool continues to be challenging and fun for us all! Stella is loving Science this year. Ashlyn's favorite subject is Math and she really seems to have a talent for it. Quinn just wants to be like his big sisters and he enjoys keeping them company while they work....I hope everyone is doing well...here are a few recent pics of everyone...enjoy:

The kids and Grams celebrating her birthday

Thie girls with our friend Melissa's pomeranians Clooney and Hattie...

Stella getting ready for the Nick Jonas concert...

Stella @ the Museum of Nautal History in D.C.

It's been a dry, "staticky" month...

Days 4, 5, 6....Exodus...It Aint Just a Bob Marley Song Ya'll

Finished up Genesis on Monday....I was actually a little surprised to learn that I have read all of Genesis in the past...Waaay more familiar with that book than I thought. Genesis ends quietly with the deaths of Jacob and later Joseph.

Exodus, oh Exodus...the rules are getting layed out....Moses, the burning bush, bricks without straw, plagues, more plagues, and a couple more plagues, the origin of Passover, THE ten commandments, instructions on how to build an arc of the covenant not to mention a fairly ornate lampstand, and priestly garments (which begs to question why Aaron got the orders to wear the turban and not Moses....hmmmmm)..lots of RULES...I'm particularly grateful for Jesus after reading Exodus....

Bit of bible trivia for you....what passage of Exodus contains Jay's new favorite line in the Bible...."By the blast of your nostrils the waters piled up." anyone? I'll buy you lunch if you can name the passage and/or context without looking it up.....

Take care ya'll the B90x continues...

B90X--Day 3...How Real Life and Passion Collide

Have you ever wanted to be a part of something soo bad that it hurt?

That it consumed your thoughts?

Your days spent thinking, planning, daydreaming of ways to make your dream happen?

I think most of us get that spark of all-consuming drive when we are kids... we fall in love with something and we live "it." For me "it" was music. I loved music. I loved listening to music...pouring over album liner notes, listening every week to the Weekly Top 40 and wondering who would be number one, rushing out to the record store when the new U2 album came out and racing home to listen until I had memorized every lyric...As I got older I forced my dad to teach me to play guitar. I would spend hours alone in my bedroom practicing the few chords my dad had taught me...struggling to work out the melody to the songs that I passionately loved. Most of my girlfriends were getting crushes on musicians. I wanted to be one! I wanted to hang out with the boys in bands, but not to flirt--to play! Somewhere along the way I lost my passion for that. I convinced myself that writing about music would be just as fulfilling as playing music. I abandoned my guitar and became a journalism major in college. I started flirting with the musicians rather than talking shop, and well, real life stepped in and before I knew it my dream of becoming a songwriter got cast aside for other goals, and the flirting must of worked; because I did marry a guitar player.

There are things in my life that bring me immense joy on a daily basis. I have a fantastic husband who loves me and three children who touch my heart daily. Life for me has turned out really well and if nothing else ever came of my life than being a good wife and mother I would be ok with that. Though a weird thing started happening to me this summer when I started going to church (well, I should clarify: when I started going to ONE church on a regular basis...You could say once again that Real Life (rather literally) stepped in)...I started feeling a strong passionate desire to be a part of something. A passion that I had not felt since I was a teenage girl sitting alone in my bedroom trying to work out chords to Beatles songs... And wow, did God lead me to a church where things are happening, where people are passionate. I began making a nuisance of myself. I started volunteering for anything and everything at my church. I even started volunteering Jason...I was a complete lunatic. I said yes to every opportunity that came my way involving my church. And over the course of the several months I've been attending Real Life, I have discovered a passionate side to myself that I thought had been abandoned a long time ago. The question for me now is what to do with that passion. I've always been great at feeling passionate, but never so great on the execution and follow through.

I asked my pastor today why he was doing this whole B90X thing...Certainly, he's read the Bible all the way through (gosh, I hope he has...haha) and he said for a better understanding. Well, I'm certainly hoping for a little understanding, but even more than that, I'm reading the Bible in 90 days because that's what I do when I get excited about something. I completely, and totally, immerse myself in whatever it is that I'm passionate about. I've been around long enough to know that the feeling of all-consuming passion is fleeting. I'm hoping to grab on tight to this one and not let it go, but I'm not naive. I'm definitely going to make the most of it while I have it and if it means being a little (ok maybe a LOT) obnoxious and annoying in my enthusiasm (sorry Mike Johnson)...well, I'm willing to do that for the greater good which to me, is serving an awesome God.

Day 3 of B90X mostly centered around the life of Jacob and his offspring. Not too much witty commentary to be offered, but I will say that I'm in it now, for sure. I will definitely finish the Bible in 90 days....something that a few years ago was never in my realm of interest and/or possibility. Funny how our passions change, but the fervor behind them thankfully, does not....Take care.

B90X--Day 2..."She's My Sister."

ok...things are getting fairly interesting in Day 2's passage of the B90X plan (Genesis 17:1-28:19)...Who needs rated R movies people? Just read the Old Testament. Things are crazy!!!!!...I like how both Abraham and later on his son Isaac tell people that their wives are not really their wives, but in fact, their sisters...self preservation @ it's finest! What a brutal world back then...when you couldn't even say that your hot wife was your wife for fear of being killed! Crazy stuff!!
Days 2's passage also catches Abraham's wife Sarah laughing @ God who totally calls her on it! Sodom and Gomorrah is reduced to a sulfurous heap as is poor Lot's wife who doesn't even get named in the Bible, but whose fate is immortalized by her final formation: a pillar of salt...(God told her not to look back!!!!)

But don't take my word for any of this stuff; read it yourself! Looking forward to tomorrows' passage..This is a lot more interesting than I thought it would be......

B90X Day 1

OK.... first installment of reading the Bible in 90 days is done...Genesis 1-16 is complete... creation, lots of begat-ing and a preview to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. I can't help but wonder if reading the Bible at such a break-neck pace will bring about any further understanding of this book or just further confuse me, but I'm willing to give it a shot. At the very least, in 90 days, I'll be able to say I have read the entire Bible. Not many people can say that. I've started out with the NIV version for those of you who are curious, but am prob. switching to The Message for the New Testament. Check back daily I'll let you know my progress...take care ya'll and Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!