Thursday Thoughts....

I had cancer a couple of years ago (thyroid) and following my surgery and recovery...i had this whole new perspective on life and everything that was thrown my way...I really did look @ everything as a gift...and it was like this incredible high and wonderful feeling...nothing really bothered me, I didn't get stressed, I was completely happy and content and it lasted for a while, but it slowly started to fade and one day I woke up and realized I was exactly the same person I was before I found out I had cancer. And it really made me sad to think that this feeling of euphroria was gone and I was left having to "work" to appreciate everything. I was like everyone else...taking life, family, God for granted...sad, huh? well, I'm slowly coming out of the shell shock of all that and I really do believe that it takes work to be happy and that it's more of a decision rather than something we race to catch...so I wake up and tell God, "Bring it..I've got this..." and yeah, it's not the euphoria that I once had for a brief moment, but rather something so much more...just some thoughts..I'm grateful for it all...though not to say some chapters in my life are more fun/happy/interesting/colorful than others...the thought that I can choose happiness is comforting.

Dream Dwelling....

I've been listening to a lot of music since I've gotten back from Mexico. I have mixed feelings about this...On one hand it's like coming home to an old friend....I hate that life gets so busy that I don't have time to listen to music, discover new artists....on the other hand it's forcing me to deal with feelings that I'm not sure I can even begin to deal with...funny how music can evoke such strong emotion...I think it's interesting that music has played such a tiny role in my life over the past decade...music forces us to introspectize ( I totally just made that word up)...maybe I haven't been up for that...this reminds me of an epiode of The World of Jenks where filmmaker Andrew Jenks follows the rapper Maino around and something Maino says struck me...He was telling Jenks that he didn't start writing until he had been in prison..he was a fan of rap, but never wrote anything himself until he had been in jail for two years...He said he didn't have the time to think about things in real life, to go over "stuff in his mind." But prison gave him the time to think and reflect which eventually led to him writing..

now I'm not saying that going to prison is a good thing and that it's the only way to tap into your creativity, but I think Maino is onto something...Why do we let ourselves get so busy with life and inane details, that we abandon things that are important?

So....I would say to you today...stop a minute....Listen to one of your favorite songs, take a moment to get in touch with a friend you haven't heard from in a while, apologize, pray, cry, whatever is real for you but definitely remember to feel...because sometimes if we don't make it happen, then it doesn't...take some time...dwell on a dream....

.Sooo what's you favorite music to soul search to? Who is your go-to band when you need to think, breathe, re-evaluate, just be you???

this is one of my favorites...it's only 2 min..def. worth watching it....just lovely..